Even the starting pitcher sort of came “off the bench.” With no warning, Kyle Kendrick was thrust into the starting role when Vance Worley unexpectedly went on the DL with elbow soreness. Kendrick has had a rough year being pushed and pulled from the bullpen to the rotation and back again. But on this night, he managed to pull a great performance seemingly out of the air.

Kendrick allowed only 1 earned run through 6 innings and did walk anyone. He also had an unearned run on a routine fly ball that Juan Pierre dropped in left field. Luckily, that was the only major blunder for the Phillies that night.

It did not look like Kendrick would get much run support as the Phillies took turns leaving men all over the base paths, especially on third base with less than 2 outs. Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence were the worst offenders with 7 and 5 men left on base, respectively. Victorino did manage 1 RBI though while Pence, again, went hitless.

Freddy Galvis and Carlos Ruiz picked up their teammates, both with 2 hits in the game. Ruiz is making a strong bid for an All-Star spot with his team leading .343 average and many clutch hits.

With a 2-2 tie going into the 7th, the Phillies bench came into play in a big way. In his first Phillies at-bat, Mike Fontenot singled and later in the game, scored a run. Ty Wigginton came off the bench in the 9th and gave the Phillies some breathing room with a 2-run single.

But the big blast came from the Moon Man, Hector Luna, in his first Phillies at-bat. “Luna” means “moon” in several languages, including Latin, Italian and Spanish. And Luna went straight to the moon with his first career grand slam in the 9th, giving the Phillies a huge 7 run lead.

Yet another new Phillie entered into the 9th as well. Raul Valdes pitched the bottom of the inning and nailed down the 9-2 win without any drama. The night before, Jake Diekman made his major league debut and got 4 outs to end the game, also minus the usual bullpen drama. These two guys are at opposite ends of the spectrum: one is a rookie and the other an experienced veteran. But together, they may signal very good news for this weak Phillies pen.

And this win is also very good news as the Phillies finally reach the .500 mark at 19-19 for the first time in weeks. They have not been over .500 since Opening Day. Perhaps they can accomplish that task tonight in Game 2 with the Cubs? Game time is 8:05pm. 

Photoshopping by Jenn Zambri Photography

If I were to follow the maxim of saying only good things, that would be the end of this article.

The Yankees lost 8-1 last night, this time to the Toronto Blue Jays at the place I’m not technically allowed to call SkyDome. With the beatdown, the Bombers fall to 20-17, just a single loss better than their opponents.

The culprit here is Hiroki Kuroda. Sure, the Yankees only scored one run, but they were already down by five after three innings. Kuroda lasted only five innings, allowing seven runs on eight hits, walking two and striking out six. When the Jays started a rally, they finished it – usually with a bang. Kuroda surrendered home runs to J.P. Arencibia, Edwin Encarnacion and Jose Bautista, resulting in six of the seven tallies. (Kelly Johnson singled in a fourth-inning run, then homered off Clay Rapada to close the scoring.) Once again, Kuroda shook off any momentum he could have built up in his last start and reminded everybody that the Yankees still need a legitimate second starter.

As for the offense, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong. On the one hand, they worked the count against Kyle Drabek, drawing four walks against five strikeouts over the course of his seven innings. But when they put the ball in play, they just kept smashing it into the ground. Now, with Toronto’s artificial turf, that should eventually have led to a few balls getting through. Instead, they just got to the infielders more quickly, allowing for Drabek to record 13 ground outs against just three in the air. A-Rod’s sixth-inning liner to center may have been the only well-struck out of the night off Drabek, so it’s hard to blame tough luck for this one. Give Drabek credit for preventing a weakened yet still potent lineup from making much solid contact.

I’m OK with Derek Jeter getting days off; with all the injury issues piling up, it’s easy to understand Joe Girardi’s commitment to resting his veterans. But having Curtis Granderson bat in the top spot exposed another hole in this Yankees roster. With Brett Gardner out for however long he will be, the Yankees do not have a second batter they can reliably place in the top spot. Curtis Granderson is still fast, but not the lightning bolt he once was, and his OBP is sitting around league average – not nearly good enough for a leadoff man. With Jeter starting to come down from his torrid start, Gardner is once again the best weapon the Yankees can place at the top of their lineup. They can only hope he’s up to speed in short order.

Tonight, the Yankees will get a crack at Drew Hutchison, the rookie with a 6.10 ERA. Once again, they could play right into the hands of a kid they’ve never faced, but they need to take advantage of a weak opponent and get the offense back on track tonight. Phil Hughes will look to build on his great performance against Seattle, and get the Yankees into their first interleague set on a winning note.

Were you impressed by Drabek? Or did the Yankees just stink? And what about Kuroda? Ugh…

Also, be sure to check out today’s Daily Bite on the perils of Hero Ball.

Daily Bite: May 17, 2012

DATELINE: HUMOR!

As the Mob members said in The Godfather, it may be time for one team to hit the mattresses.

Yes, that smell is actually the Celtic version of Clemenza making meatballs for the gang as they wait to go to war. Mrs. Ray Allen would not approve of this culinary approach for getting ready.

Doc Rivers is now giving Rajon Rondo some good advice right out of the movie: “Take the cannolis, and leave the gun.”

Nothing could be worse for the Sixers than waking up for Game 3 and finding a horse’s head under the sheets.  As Rondo said after the game,  “We wanted to send a message.

Yes, a horse’s head in bed with you is a message. More likely, the Sixers feel like they are now the other end of the horse.

If you see Brando Rondo running up and down the floor with cotton balls in his cheeks, do not be alarmed. He is waiting for his big closeup.

Despite his arm being in a sling, Sonny Avery wants to take out the crooked Philly cop by shooting threes.

The man pulling the strings on the Big Three is clearly the Celtics’ Godfather. If Brando Rondo doesn’t given Ray Allen the ball, it could be that Ray has not kissed the hand of the Godfather and paid his respects frequently enough. No, Ray is not a Fredo.

Every godfather must have an enforcer. In this case, it is bellicose KG whose demeanor smacks of killer instinct. He may be asked by the Godfather to do the dirty work, as befits his role.

Every godfather must have a consigliore, or mouthpiece, and Paul Pierce will have to do more than his usual taunting and running off at the mouth.

Brando Rondo is still planning a big finish when he will put all his enemies to rest in the Finals. Right now he is just warming up before he takes on the other mob families in Miami and Los Angeles. And, we don’t mean those guys with the videocameras.

Have you seen how the female body is portrayed in comic books? I couldn’t put the comic books down. The Scarlet Witch, Spider-Woman, Wasp… they all had the same body with different color hair and different skin-tight costumes. Apparently they all had a common super power. Gravity-defying breasts were standard issue… and none less than a full C cup. You can’t imagine my disappointment when I saw my first real boobs. The girl must have been a little upset with the look on my face as she unveiled her saggy barely-Bs. I just didn’t understand… perhaps she was late getting her mutant titty powers I remember thinking to myself.

I still own the X-Men comic where Jean Grey gets unlimited cosmic powers and destroys populated planets and at the same time grows a full cup size (X-Men issue 135). She kills millions in this tight little burgundy and yellow number and I must have rubbed out an equal amount of innocent sperm. Who doesn’t want the bad girl am I right? Always with the spandex and never a camel toe in sight. This is where I learned about female anatomy. These women were the best.

And above all of them, there was Ms. Marvel. Holy fuck what a super babe. Long blonde hair, 38-22-36, thigh high black boots and a thong that disappeared into her super-crack only to resurface in between the most super ass cheeks ever captured with ink and paper. Her alter-ego must have run a camp for overdeveloped cheerleaders… it’s the only possible occupation that makes sense. Marvel was so without sexuality that it left us nerds to fill in the gaps. There was no way that this super piece of ass wasn’t fucking somebody! Was she taking Thor’s mighty hammer or did she prefer a little Iron Man… we were always left to wonder. One time she was captured and shackled to the wall of the villain’s hideout. I don’t even remember one page after that. I was obsessed with that concept. The comic wanted everyone to believe that the super villain would tie her up there and NOT take a peak under her costume. No way! If I had been that villain I’m telling you… when I was finally caught by the rest of the cock-blocking Avengers and made to stand trial for my misdeeds against society you can be 100% certain that there would be some sodomy charges in the mix somewhere.

Ms. Marvel was hot. From that point on I was preparing myself to go to bed with nothing less than this Amazonian goddess. You can see the dysfunction starting to take hold right? I wasn’t sure of my own super power but I was certain is had something to do with expending a super amount of energy looking for my own Ms. Marvel.

Sadly… there are no Ms. Marvels. It’s hard enough to get a girl to even wear one of those costumes let alone expect super feats of strength, endurance, flexibility or sucking power. In my heart I know Ms. Marvel could put both legs behind her head and Marvel made us believe it. They sent us nerds out into the world destined for disappointment. Playboy might have airbrushed a little but it at least showed what we were getting into. Marvel sent us into the fray with no idea what lay beneath the spandex that no villain could punch off, aside or through. That pretty much sums up my knowledge of women even to this day. Damn you Marvel. Damn you to hell.

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Darvish pitched 7.2 innings, allowing just one run on four hits and two walks.  He also struck out seven.  He is just insanely good. Oh, and he can field his position a little too, as we saw tonight.

Fortunately, the Rangers’ offense decided to show up tonight too.  In the 4th inning, Josh Hamilton started the scoring with an infield single.  Adrian Beltre then chased him home with a down-on-one-knee bomb to right field.  Nelson Cruz singled and Yorvit Torrealba worked a walk.  They both advanced on a passed ball and then scored on singles by Craig Gentry and Elvis Andrus.

That was it for the Rangers scoring, but it was enough, thanks to Darvish, Mike Adams and Joe Nathan.

It’s nice to be back in the win column.  Especially against a division foe.

KISS:  It’s all about Yu.

MISS: I suppose Napoli.  0 for 4 with two strikeouts.  But I ain’t even mad.

FINAL SCORE
Oakland :: 1 R, 4 H, 4 TLOB
Texas :: 4 R, 9 H, 5 TLOB
WP – Yu Darvish (6-1, 2.60 ERA) // LP – Tommy Milone (5-3, 4.09 ERA)

Thursday’s match-up
vs. OAK, 1:05 p.m. CST
Matt Harrison (4-3, 5.23 ERA) vs. Brandon McCarthy (3-3, 2.56 ERA)
Matty needs a good outing after that loss to LAA.  And Brandon McCarthy is one of my favorite guys in MLB.  I’m sad this game is on while I’m at work.

The Open Mike Show’s most recent podcast is available. Host Michael Cohen and Mike Sanfilipo discuss MLB, NHL, NBA, NFL, Boxing,

Open_Mike_Show_Hour_2.mp3 Listen on Posterous

and more.

The Open Mike Show’s most recent podcast is available. Host Michael Cohen and Mike Sanfilipo discuss MLB, NHL, NBA, NFL, and more.

Open_Mike_Show_Hour_1.mp3 Listen on Posterous

The Hudson Hockey Crew are back for Talk Titan Tuesday on MTRRADIO. We talk NHL Playoffs, Rangers vs. Devils and Kings vs. Coyotes, Washington Capitals need a new coach, and some free agent news.

HH-5_15_12.mp3 Listen on Posterous