One piping hot bowl of southern-style grits drizzled with Israeli honey, one huge slice of fresh Jewish rye bread smothered in melted butter, one eight-ounce glass of a preciously blended mixture of banana and mango juice, and one smoking hot cup of Ecuadorian mountain grown coffee.
By CARY WALDMAN
I have always been fascinated with the Guinness Book of World Records and all the insane things people will do to get their names and their feats published in this amazing book of, and for, fools, nut jobs, morons, the average Joes and geniuses.
Yes, it’s a book for everyone. And for all time!
The newly-released 2012 edition may be be the best one yet.
I went into my Aflac office in DUMBO (Brooklyn Heights, NY) early this morning to get a jump start on my 2012 planning as a voluntary supplemental health insurance benefits consultant — only to find out about one of my co-workers owning the newest release.
Darn you Robert Donato.
I pounced on it, feasting on its recent luscious additions like a cavity-free kid ravaging and rampaging in heaven in one of Manhattan’s pot-of-sweet-gold candy stores I try to stay away from whenever I am in The City.
Some online Internet research latter I injested some very intriguing and interesting facts about THE BOOK.
Guinness World Records, known until 2000 as The Guinness Book of Records (and in previous U.S. editions as The Guinness Book of World Records), is a reference book published annually, containing a collection of world records, both human achievements and the extremes of the natural world.
The book itself holds a world record as the best-selling copyrighted book series of all time.
Yes, that’s so true.
Hard to believe, but so true!
And get this: It is also one of the most frequently stolen books from public libraries in the United States.
Guess the crazies that adore this publication have a case of sticky fingers, too.
The franchise has extended beyond print to include television series and museums.
The popularity of the franchise has resulted in Guinness World Records becoming the primary international authority on the cataloguing and verification of a huge number of world records by official record adjudicators authorized to verify the setting and breaking of records.
I am always fantasizing about entering an all-out, day-long oyster eating contest, and setting a mark for most oysters eaten in one day.
Or hopping on one foot for 26.2 marathon-like miles in mountainous terrain in sweltering heat to establish another.
I have also thought about creating my own Guinness-like standard of annoying my so-ever-lovely, long-time (she will tell you it feels like a lifetime) live-with girlfriend Helene non-stop for a year.
My darling Helene sez I do a pretty darn good job of it now.
No practice, she sez, is required.
Either way, the newest book is as incredible must read.
And I just might spend the rest of the day power reading it and forgeting about organizing my 2012 work calendar as planned before I arrived at the office this morning.
Dam, why did my buddy, Robert, have to leave the book on his desk?
Was it to distract me?
Guess I will have to steal it now.
And don’t worry Helene; I swear I will stop annoying you.
Or at least try not to. Hugs and Kisses to you.
And please don’t kill me when I get home tonight.
Now back to devouring the book. Yum!!!!
