Things That Are Worse than Paul Reiser…

hitler-mussolini.jpgAfter a mere two episodes that had the same effect as a handful of Ambien chased by a fifth of Knob Creek, Paul Reiser's triumphant(?) return to network television lasted about as long as a Milton Bradley welcome party.

I guess this is undeniable truth that US America just isn't mad about you, Mr. Reiser (*RIMSHOT*).

But don't worry, Paul, there are plenty of folks out there who are WAY WORSE than you.  And of course, the RSBS interns have been working furiously to bring you the shortlist.  Shall we?

Chone Figgins
After signing a $43.5 million deal to be the ignition in an otherwise defunct offense, it only seems fitting that the fate of the Mariners took another giant step backwards as Mr. Figgins continues to be the only thing that smells worse than Pike's Place fish market.  Last year he topped off his .259 batting average with a debilitating case of bad attitude.  This year, he seems to be on track for more of the same, only, Wakamatsu ain't there to box the boy's ears.  Therefore, Chone is definitely worse than Paul Reiser.

Jim Skinner

Since he is the CEO of the McDonald's Corporation, I think it's important that we call out Jim Skinner and everything his company stands for: taking advantage of the masses' inferior intellect.  I don't care what you do to the labeling, the packaging, etc., "food" that comes from McDonald's is not f***ing good for you.  In fact, it's killing you… it's killing you and the rest of US America.  When I first swore off fast food (about 7 years ago) I was surprised at how my body reacted by feeling good most of the time.  After a year of zero Big Macs, I decided to give it another try.  I had a Big Mac, large fry and a Coke.  An hour later, I threw up… from both ends.  That was my body's way of saying STOP THE INSANITY.  I did and I've never felt better.

Also, people are using Jim's restaurant as a place to throw down.  Not cool.  So Jim is definitely worse than Paul Reiser.

2010 Jason Bay
This lucky (and smart) Canadian managed to work out a $73 million five-year deal with the Mets after the 2009 season.  He followed that trip to the bank by hitting 6 homeruns in 95 games, before he got hurt and missed the rest of the season. 

He was bad.  So bad that he is STILL worse than Paul Reiser.

Muammar Gaddafi
NATO wants him dead.  That doesn't make him bad, that makes him SOOP-UH BAD… or, WORSE than Paul Reiser.

olliver perez sitting down.jpg

Oliver Perez
I really hate to pick on the Mets here, but, well, the Mets have done a lot of dumb things in recent years… like, y'know, pay Oliver Perez $12 million a year to throw baseballs like my athletically-challenged and oft persnickety colleague, Mr. Krause throws softballs. 

Not very good.

Of course, Ollie's situation comes in way WORSE than Paul Reiser's, because Ollie is STILL getting $12 million from the Mets this year, even though he's not on the team.

All of the above are bad.  In fact, all of the above are really bad.

But they are also UNANIMOUSLY rich beyond my Joe Plumber @$$, so… the moral of the story, once again, is be badGet paid.

Congrats on making the team, Paul Reiser.

Hate me 'cuz it's legal, just don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff

Woman in Libya Raped Then Sued?

NEWBRUNSWICK, N.J. -The men of Col. Muammar el-Qdaffi’s militia, who were accused of gang raping Eman al-Obeidi, have now filed a civil case against her. The men, one of them happening to be the son of a high-ranking Libyan official, were offended by al-Obeidi’s accusations and have decided to sue her over it.

Screen shot 2011-03-29 at 4.36.12 PM The incident started when Eman al-Obeidi approached foreign journalist in a Tripoli hotel about her rape. A scuffle broke out between the journalists, al-Obeidi, Libyan government security personnel, and hotel staff.

Since reports have surfaced, the government spokesman, Moussa Ibrahim, has depicted al-Obeidi in multiple lights. He has described her as a “drunk” and mentally ill in the beginning, and then redeemed her as sane and sober, and by Sunday the spokesman rested on “prostitute” and “thief.”

Al-Obeidi has not returned home since being taken into custody by Col. Qaddafi’s men right after the event on Saturday. Since then Ibrahim has told press that Screen shot 2011-03-29 at 4.36.33 PMEman al-Obeidi has dropped her rape charges because of her own refusal to take a medical examination. He also informed the public that al-Obeidi would be able to speak on the manner later on in the week.   

Her family has stood by her side throughout the entire ordeal. They went on Al-Jazeera TV and revealed that al-Obeidi is a lawyer who is seeking a post-graduate degree. They also mentioned that al-Obeidi was previously taken into custody by el-Qaddafi’s troops after marching in an anti-government protest.

Rebels in Benghazi have held rallies in support of al-Obeidi’s courage and Amnesty International has stepped in and demanded that el-Qaddafi reveal where Eman al-Obeidi is and release her.

The RSBS Podcast, Episode 20: Utley's Multiple Meniscuses… and Other Stuff

betty white and alf podcast photo.jpg

Click ME to Listen!!!

And so in this Podcast brought to you by Lifestyles

The proverbial (and literal) gloves come off in this verbal masquerade of utter ridiculousness and yes, injuries do occur (though mostly to Johanna and, since they are mental in nature, hardly noticed).  Among the topics of conversation one will find: Jeff's wandering Forever 21 eyes, Zack Greinke's ribs, the difference between a half and a full nelson, Cameroonian baseball, Bud Selig-bashing take 47 and much, much more… all to make you smile, laugh and play!

Holla!

- – -

Subscribe to the RSBS Podcast by clicking *HERE*

Subscribe via iTunes by clicking *HERE*

*Special thanks to our PodMaster Keith Carmack.  Keith is all over the interwebz killin' it.  You should definitely check out his crew and their subsequently hilarious podcast at  Undercard Films.  And keep your eye out for what's next.  Dude's makin' a movie!

- – -

Recorded Saturday, March 12, 2011

 

Taking a Second Look at the Gadaffis

Muammar_Gaddafi.jpgNorth Africa seems to be going the way of the Pittsburgh Pirates.  You know it's bad but it just seems to be getting worse.  In Tunisia, Ben Ali had a few people killed but then decided to leave before it got too much worse.  In Egypt Mubarak held out a bit longer and tried a little harder to crush the opposition but soon enough he realized that enough was enough.

Enter Gaddafi.  Now, we've always known that the Colonel had a few screws loose.  This is the guy who ordered the bombing of the Lockerbie Pan Am flight after all.  From his Shakespearean, almost Lear-esque, pronunciations to the equally unhinged speech of his supposedly sane son, Saif Al-Islam, promising a "blood-bath" in Libya, the Gaddafi family has shown an intent in the last few days to usher Libya into an era of civil war.

But over here at RSBS, we prefer to focus on the positives.  The news media is full of all these negative portrayals of the Libyan leaders so we decided to do a little research and come up with reasons to appreciate the Gaddafis.  Granted, it wasn't easy but the RSBS interns are always up to the challenge and came up with two important pieces of information that you should consider before judging the Colonel and his family.

#1.  Saif Al-Islam is a pacifist at heart
Don't believe me, take a look at his doctoral dissertation.  Sure, he may be promising a blood-bath if the protesters don't back down but all he really wants is a more democratic international structure that can break down existing authoritarian power structures.  As Mr. Gaddafi puts it, "Citizens in undemocratic states emphasise that they are not represented in the decision-making process of the IGO [intergovernmental organisation]. Even if their governments are represented in some capacity, because their governments are authoritarian, abusive and unrepresentative of their people's real interests."  Does this sound like a guy who wants to help daddy drop bombs on his fellow countrymen?  Wait, don't answer that.

#2.  Can you really hate a James Bond style villain?

How can you take Gaddafi seriously?  Besides the almost comic stylings of his speeches, you also have to take into account the shades and the funny mustache.  Not only that, he's run the gamut of super-villainery from the aforementioned bombing to his sponsorship of various other ne'er-do-wells.  On top of that, he has a statue of an enormous fist crushing an American jet.  A statue!  All he needs is a volcanic island as his headquarters and a group of fem-bot style Amazonians as his personal bodyguards and he'd be set.  Oh, he already has a group of fem-bot style Amazonian virgins as his personal bodyguards?  Well played Mr. Gaddafi.

-A

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On YoutubeCheck Our FeedVisit Us On Google Plus